Never Alone

Nearly 500 years ago, poet John Donne wrote the famous lines:

No man is an island entire of itself; every man

is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;

if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe

is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as

well as any manner of thy friends or of thine

own were; any man's death diminishes me,

because I am involved in mankind.

And therefore never send to know for whom

the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

The first line and the last are the most famous, but I want to focus on the third and fourth lines. Imagine a Pennsylvania creek eroding its banks. A piece of earth is broken off, and the whole course of the stream, over time, may change. Our lives are like that. If one is gone, we are all changed.

* * *

September 9-15, 2018, is National Suicide Prevention Week. The American Foundation of Suicide Prevention states "there is no single cause of suicide," but one risk factor is isolation. Connection plays a powerful role in mental health.

The irony is that, while loneliness can lead to depression, depression can make us reluctant to socialize. When we're depressed, we'd rather curl up in a blanket and not go out or reach out. Depression saps our energy, so it takes too much effort to call a friend or attend a get-together. Then we feel more isolated and more depressed, and it's a downward spiral that seems unending.

People want to blame social media on our increased level of isolation, and it probably does play a part in it, but Americans' isolation has been steadily increasing since WWII. America's early years were characterized by strong family ties. As people moved West, they left families behind, and after WWII, the desire to follow the jobs was stronger than the desire to stay close to home. Commercial airlines, commuter trains, and better highways made these moves easier as well, because it meant you didn't need to say good-bye to family permanently. You might be able to visit for holidays or weddings. Now, with skype and unlimited mobile phone calls, it's possible to talk to family thousands of miles away every week, or even every day.

But with these cross-country or international moves, we've failed to create new connections. We build friendships at the office, but with increased telecommuting, even those friendships are fewer and less substantial. Too many of our friendships are only slightly better than acquaintances: we'll talk to each other at the sports field or about work, but these conversations rarely go deeper.

Scripture underscores the importance of community and connection. Other believers will mentor and teach us (look at the relationships between Jesus and the disciples as well as Old Testament figures like Moses and Joshua); correct us (as we see with Samuel and King Saul and Nathan and King David); and encourage us. "But God has so composed the body, giving more abundant honor to that member which lacked, so that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it." 1 Corinthians 12:24-26

Sounds a lot like John Donne's poem, doesn't it?

Connection is so important. God has created us for community. We may think we have cornered the market, as it were, on loneliness and isolation, but John Donne warned against it 500 years ago, and God warned against it long before that. Will you head the warning?

If you need help, please reach out: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255